Author Archive
Relationship Communication – Is There Such a Thing as Bad Communication
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Effective Communication is good, right? Personally, I believe it’s next to impossible to have a healthy, rewarding relationship without it. Sure, the level of required relationship communication depends on your level of intimacy with the person you are communicating with. But, can open communication ever be destructive, even when the communicator thinks they are providing a helpful message for the recipient? I would say it all boils down to knowing your audience. Think about what you are about to convey, and then try to predict how your recipient is going to react. Is the message sensitive or volatile enough to destroy the relationship you currently have? If so, it’s best to think twice. Sounds simple enough, right?
Take this story, for example. I know a woman that, for her whole life, carried resentment about how her father raised her. This story begins when she was 50 years old and her father was 72. She felt she had not been nurtured and supported as much as she needed when she was growing up. Her father was a “hard-liner”. We all know the type. A man made of mostly discipline and not enough encouragement, keeping his feelings to himself. Something compelled the woman to spill her guts and write her father a letter. In this letter she described how she felt about her relationship with her father. She pointed out many of the shortcomings in her life and how she felt he was the cause of them because she “didn’t get what she needed from him”. She pointed these things out in a very polite manner; obviously assuming her father would understand and feel compassion for her. What actually happened was quite the contrary. The father was very angry after reading her letter and felt he was being attacked. What was once an acceptable relationship was now broken beyond repair. At the time the daughter wrote the letter, she thought it would benefit her to get those things off her chest and didn’t take time to ponder how her father would deal with such things.
The case above could be considered “bad communication” as it damaged the relationship it was meant to improve. Here are some things you might want to consider before initiating a discussion with someone, especially when your message contains sensitive, blaming or potentially negative information.
1. What do you expect to accomplish with your message?
2. Try to predict how your audience will respond. Are you prepared for an unexpected outcome?
3. Is it so important for you to get your message across that it’s worth the risk of breaking the relationship? In some cases it may be, such as a case with a friend or spouse.
4. If you predict that your message may cause undesirable results, you may want to use a good friend or family member as a sounding board, so you can clear your head of your thoughts. Even more so, it can be very beneficial for you to write the person a letter but never deliver it. I believe this works better than spilling your guts to a third party.
5. You can ask advice from a trusted friend or family member (especially if they know the recipient of the message). However, always make the final decision on what to do. Your advisor probably has nothing to lose and may not give you proper advice in the matter.
Relationship communication is important in everyone’s life, whether with friends, family, business associates or complete strangers. For that reason, care should always be taken on how to communicate sensitive information. Can communication be a bad thing? I think it always depends on the circumstances. Sometimes you need to choose to hold back or potentially lose the relationship.
Carl Herkes
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/communication-in-relationships-is-there-such-a-thing-as-bad-communication-10767.html
How To Improve Communication Skills By Using The Telephone
Posted by: | CommentsHere is another interesting article I recently came across by Dennis Jaylon. Had you ever considered that you could learn how to improve your Communication skill by using the telephone ?
Read on….
Who would not want to create a smart and enchanting persona? And is that possible even on telephones? Yes… It is Possible!
The modern day telephones enable us to do more than we could do with them till some years back. But before we get to that, let us look at some of the features that are there in telephones today Caller ID (CLIP), Voice Mail, LCD screen, call back facilities and many many more. Plus there are added enhancements to make our conversations crystal clear like superb sound quality, digital speakerphone, even stylish designs add the zing factor in our messages.
Now coming to the features of modern telephones and how they help us in creating a charismatic and effective personality over the phone.
Let us start with Caller ID or CLIP facility Caller ID shows us the numbers that are calling us. If the number looks familiar, we can tweak our voice a little to create just the image we have or desire to have in the caller’s perception. For example, if it is from office or from a colleague, you can sound professional and smart. And if it is from a dear one, you can turn down the professionalism and present a softer you.
Then there is ‘Voice Message Recording service’ which enables you to drop a message when the receiver on the other end, is unable to pick up the call. You can record your message by clearly telling your name and the reason for which you called. If you are calling someone who does not know you, you should clearly tell your name (spell it, if required) and leave your contact number. Give a time when you can receive the call back and also give a brief summary for why you called up.
The more clarity you have in your message, the more you create a good impression. And with the help of modern day telephones and their multiple features, utilise all your capabilities to make your mark.
Dennis Jaylon is a renowned business writer who has years of experience in writing technical reviews, product descriptions and product feature analysis of technical gadgets and gizmos. He has won appreciation especially for enlightening people about the latest communication gizmos…the Telephones.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dennis_Jaylon
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-Telephones-Help-You-Improve-Communication-Skills&id=589848
Dating Tips : How to Know If a Crush Likes You Back
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A crush likes you back if they touch you excessively, if they always talk about doing things with you and if they introduce you to their friends. Read the verbal and non-verbal cues to find out if someone likes you with help from a dating coach in this free video on dating and relationship advice.
Expert: Jessica Claire
Contact: www.newyorkdatingcoach.com
Bio: Jessica Claire is a professional dating instructor at New York Dating Coach in New York City. She is one of the only female coaches for men in this industry and has been coaching since 2006.
Filmmaker: Paul Muller
Duration : 0:1:7
Ways To Have An Effective Corporate Communications
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Whether its sales presentation, business communication, or communication management software, team communication software is highly needed in order to tear up the barriers to Effective Communication.
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Five Basic Steps to Become an Effective Leader
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There is an old cliché that says “leaders are made, not born”. Have you ever wondered what it takes to be an effective leader? Who is a great leader? These questions often plague people who have the aspirations for leadership.
One will realize that leaders have one thing in common. Their leadership quality is one that distinguishes them from the others. However, developing leadership qualities is the first step in becoming a leader.
Let’s go through the steps in developing your leadership traits.
1. Lead by example.
Being a leader through example means showing your peers what it takes to be a leader. Exerting effort, working hard, and showing your commitment will gain the respect of your peers.
2. Inspire others.
Good leaders show exceptional skills in reaching out to others. Your listening skills are as important as your communication skills. As a leader, you must have the ability to address the concerns of your followers. Establishing a harmonious relationship is a crucial factor especially in the workplace.
3. Read books on effective leadership.
To be an effective leader, you need to spend some time looking over educational books. Instructional and audio-visual materials centering on the subject of leadership are readily accessible in the market. These are important tools to pick up some helpful reminders on how to be an effective leader.
4. Imitate the leaders you idolize.
Try to think of influential leaders that you look up to, and find out the reason why you admire them. Explore and read about the lives of these people. Try to recognize the attributes and qualities they possess that contributed to their influence and effectiveness as a leader. Try to discover if you picked up something important about these people which you feel you can integrate into your own leadership system.
5. Maintain a positive attitude.
To be a leader, you should not easily lose hope. You need to move on despite the odds not being completely in your favor. To be a good leader, you should not easily succumb to the pressures of failures and emergencies. You should always think ahead and remain optimistic. You need to be strong and persevere. In doing this, you can influence other people.
Leadership is not always an option; more often than not, it arises out of necessity. Given the chance, you can become a good leader with sufficient training and given the appropriate conditions. You can have the qualities of an effective leader; all it takes is self-control and commitment.
12 WINNING LEADERSHIP QUALITIES: Unleash The Leader Instinct Within You!
http://leadership.pan100.net/?e=kevin121554@yahoo.com
Kevin Hensey
http://www.articlesbase.com/leadership-articles/five-basic-steps-to-become-an-effective-leader-701677.html
Relationship Visioning – An Exercise In Transformation
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To grow and evolve, we need relationships for mirroring and feedback. Yet fear, negative assumptions and coping strategies can erode or destroy relationships. When we design relationships together with loving cooperation, they can be both enjoyed and utilized for conscious transformation.
This activity is designed to help you transform a current personal or professional relationship into a supportive experience, or imagine the best one for you. Write your responses in complete sentences. Be patient with the process, and yourself. This activity will be both the foundation of and guide for your relationship. Give it heart and soul from the beginning, and you will be richly rewarded many times over. An adventure awaits you. Have fun!
1) Determine your objective. You are doing this:
- Alone to manifest a completely new relationship
- Alone, to imagine the possibilities with an existing relationship
- Together, with someone with whom you are in relationship
2) Why do you want this relationship? What need does it satisfy? Why is this important to you?
3) Why do you think your partner wants a relationship with you?
4) How is this relationship different and unique from your other relationships?
5) Describe the kind of relationship you want. Describe what you actually do, and what you want each to give each other. Include why you think you fit each other’s needs, values, preferences and standards.
6) On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high), what level of truth and trust do you want through this relationship? Explain why. What is its current level? If there is a discrepancy between the two, explain. Describe and explain what you are ready to do to enjoy this level of trust.
7) What feeling do you want to project to others? What is lacking or inconsistent? What are you ready to do about it?
What limiting patterns do you want to release? How do you want to be supported to change? How can you support your partner to release her/his limiting patterns?
9) Describe your attitudes, beliefs and conflicting values that will interfere with the partnering you described. Evaluate these and determine how to replace them with honoring attitudes, beliefs and values.
10) Determine your confidence with open, nonjudgmental communication, especially in awkward and challenging circumstances. Describe the changes you are ready to make.
11) Recall and describe the fears, resistances and limiting patterns you experienced while completing this activity. List them in priority order and explain what you are ready to do about them.
12) What must you learn and what skills must you develop, to better serve your partner, especially through challenging times? What resources will you draw upon? List the steps you will take and include dates, when appropriate.
13) How have your ideas, perceptions or feelings about partnering developed or changed from doing this activity? What will you do as a result?
14) Reflect on the points especially important to you, and describe how you feel empowered.
Marianne Weidlein
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/relationship-visioning-an-exercise-in-transformation-113422.html
Building a Successful Counselling Business: Tips and Guidelines
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In a previous article we discussed the importance and applications of marketing in counselling. There was a particular focus on the initiation of a counselling practice. Although marketing has an important, and often overlooked, role in developing a counselling business, there are several other fundamentals that are just as important to build a successful practice.
In this article, we’ll discuss the basic rules of engagement in business: how to effectively start and maintain a counselling practice from legal, ethical and managerial perspectives. If you have the tools, get ready to step into the business world with the right knowledge.
Out of School, Into the Office
It all commences with the mindset. Transiting from a student lifestyle to a working lifestyle (or from a student/working lifestyle to a working lifestyle) requires a change in the person’s mindset. In the case of building a business, it gets even more serious. As a student, the consequences of a bad assignment or being late to a class are engrossed by the student. In a counselling business, bad planning or service delivery will affect the counsellor and the clients: there is more responsibility, thus the need for more accountability.
It is common that recently graduated counsellors are highly motivated to build a successful practice. It is important that such drive and motivation are directed to a precise framework of action. Such a framework will be based on the fundamental needs of a business, along with other particular requirements of the profession.
Legal and Accounting Matters
Before going into practice, whether it is on a full time, part time or voluntary basis, counsellors should seek appropriate accounting and legal advice. There are basic requirements which any business must observe, and they can be vastly different according to each country and respective industry regulations. InAustralia, most cities have Small Business Advisory Groups which are government-sponsored and which are established expressly for this purpose. In many cases the advice given is free or very inexpensive.
There are many questions which need to be asked prior to starting a business. Following are some of them, most applied to the Australian business context:
- Should I register a Business Name and if so, how do I do it?
- Should I form a Trust or a Company and if so, why, when and how?
- Should I register for an Australia Business Number (ABN)? If so, how?
- Should I register for GST (tax) and if so, how do I do it?
- What kind of accounting format do I need?
- Am I required to register under Workplace Health and Safety Regulations?
- Do I need insurance (indemnity or other) and if so, what?
- What if I employ someone. What procedures must be observed?
There are many issues which must be sorted out before going into business. “First-timers” who are completely unaware of most of these requirements should get appropriate advice in order to avoid very problematic outcomes. Such advice, in Australia, can be sought through the Internet on governmental websites such as www.business.gov.au (ABN, GST and PAYG registration) and www.asic.gov.au (company registration). It is imperative the counsellors make use of these services while they are in the planning stages for their practice.
Moving to the accounting side of things, keeping records is a fundamental practice to any business. Keeping appropriate financial and taxation records are just as important as keeping good client records. A visit to an Accountant prior to setting up a practice is essential as he/she can provide advice on such matters as GST, maintaining cash flow records and taxation policies and procedures. The Accountant should also balance Income and Expense Statements on a regular quarterly basis.
Good accounting and financial advice is essential to the success of any business. Whilst arguments which suggest that ‘small business is top heavy with red tape’ may well be valid, we cannot use this as justification for non-compliance. When going into business and providing a service to the public, counsellors take on the responsibility to ensure that their business is operating legally and ethically from all perspectives.
Advertising and Promotion
Advertising in a local newspaper to promote a counselling service is a common practice for counsellors. The previously cited article focused on the marketing aspects of setting-up a counselling practice. Now we shift the focus to effective advertising strategies which are common for local advertising.
The Yellow Pages is a popular place to advertise and a recommended ‘investment’. There will be times when a local newspaper will run “Health and Wellbeing” features or similar supplements. A good strategy is to contact the newspaper for a schedule and advertise in alignment with it for good exposure (and positioning).
Counsellors must advertise in the “professional services” section of the paper, not in “personal” or “entertainment” sections as they may prejudice the image of the business (bad positioning). Finding out about “specials” like three days for the cost of two and effective distribution days can also provide a benefit in cost and delivery.
Finally, if you are going to try Letter Box flyers, it is important that your flyer is professionally designed and presented and is delivered to houses that meet your demographic market.
The Office Setting
Setting up the Professional Rooms correctly is extremely important and must be carefully planned. The room setting will enable one of the most important aspects of a counselling session, which is providing a safe, relaxing and comfortable environment for the client. It will also reflect the professionalism of the counsellors and play a decisive role in the client’s decision-making process in whether to return for another meeting or to look for another practice. So what are the major aspects which need to be observed?
The colours used to paint both the room background and the décor should be modest, comfortable, settling and non-aggressive. Ideal colours would be soft pastel shades including green, blue, lilac or cream. Bright unsettling colours such as lemon and hot, aggressive colours such as red are unsuited to the supportive counselling environment. The décor should be conservative and not include primary colours or items which are attention getting.
There is no need for the counselling room to be either overly large or small. Think in terms of there being three people in the room each needing his or her own “space” and yet allowing for a close comfortable supportive environment. If the room is too large there may be a need to use a partition to create the required area. Seating should be comfortable and arranged in a circular plan. Lounge type chairs are preferable and it is important that the counsellor sits at the same height as the client(s). It is most inappropriate for the therapist to sit higher than those who seek support as this may be interpreted as threatening.
Smoking when with a client is unprofessional and even illegal in some states across Australia and the world. There is no need for the counsellor to offer refreshments (such as tea or coffee) during a session, but it is wise to have a jug of water and glasses handy. People often become dry in the mouth when they are stressed and a glass of water can be very settling (not to mention that it would avoid the need to interrupt the session). Having a box of tissues is handy too.
Finally, seeking counsel is a common practice in counselling. If the counsellor is working with someone and would like a second opinion, he or she should inform the client of such decision. If counsel is obtained, make sure not to disclosure the client’s personal information (such as their name).
Maintenance Tasks and Service Quality
Keeping records of interviews and counselling sessions is not an indispensable activity, but it is recommended for reference and backtracking. If the counsellor decides to keep records, there are some basic rules he or she should follow.
First, the counsellor should always let the client know that he or she wants to use a recorder and if there is any expression of disagreement or displeasure by the client, the counsellor should not go ahead or even try to convince the client that he or she should. With taping however, it is often a better practice if a recorder is used to make notes immediately after the session. It is usually helpful to make brief written notes during the session and then develop these more fully immediately after the client is gone.
Prior to taping, the counsellor must record the verbal permission of the client at the beginning of the first tape. This can be done by simply turning the recorder on and saying ‘we’re ready to start now (name) and as you know we will be recording our sessions so we can later go back and see how much progress we’ve made. Is that ok?’, or something along those lines. Preparing a numbered Tape Register so that the tapes are arranged according to each client is desirable. One way to do this is to use an Alphabetic Card Index System.
Price Point
Finally, we take a look at the counsellor fees. In order to find out how much to charge per session, the counsellor should some local marketing research (e.g. calling other practitioners in the area and ask). Despite where the counsellor works, he or she will discover that the capacity of people to pay will vary greatly, and it could therefore be wise, especially in the developmental stages of a practice, to take some work for whatever fee the client can afford to pay. Many very successful counsellors still give time each week to do volunteer work at Community Centres, Aged Care Homes, Hospitals and the like (good networking as we discussed in last edition’s publication).
Communication and Motivation
Effective communication is fundamental to the success of any business, and in professional counselling its importance is disproportionately high. The basis for effective communication is trust, and it is with this in mind that counsellors proceed and hone this special skill.
Effective Communication implies both the ability to speak and listen well. Effective listening (especially in counselling) means listening in a caring way to what is being said, accepting the other person has a point of view, and accepting the right of the other person to have an opinion which may be different from the counsellor. Therapists need to be careful not to judge others for whatever reason and through non-judgement offer the best possible advice.
Last, but not least, the most intrinsic factor of all: motivation. All these guidelines will not be effectively implemented unless the counsellor is willing to build a successful practice. That means a practice which is ethical, legally compliant, supportive to its clients, and with a well defined framework of tasks. In the end, it takes that one extra yard, that motivational boost, that additional drive, to succeed in the world of business. As Henry Ford used to say “if you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right”. What you think?
Pedro Gondim
http://www.articlesbase.com/small-business-articles/building-a-successful-counselling-business-tips-and-guidelines-139874.html
In the movie ‘This Is It’ Michael Jackson displayed an interesting style of communication worth noting. If you want to develop effective communication methods or overcome barriers to
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